LOCAL SHERLOCK HOMES AT PWC
By Dr. Tilak S. Fernando
Picture Credit : Google
He was
short with a small constitution, wore full white drill western suites daily, a
pair of dark glasses to cover one blind eye. He was well known for his
sensational actions as an investigator and not second to ‘Sherlock Homes’ !
As opposed
to his hunting revelations, he managed to condition the minds of students to
make them believe that he practised voodoo (mantra)
too! - Needless to say, the boys were alarmed to a certain extent.
Local
Sherlock Homes
With a
puny frame and 4ft 8 tall, in Western attire, collar black tie and a pair of
dark glasses, he quite fitted to assume the role of ‘CID’ investigator! Had he
worn a British style Sherlock Homes hat and the bowed pipe, he could easily
have been Sri Lanka’s Sherlock Holmes!
Spirits,
ghosts, or jinn (smoky type) are believed to be the souls or spirits of the
deceased, who appear in barely visible wispy shapes to give realistic lifelike
visions, or other manifestation to the living. His stories about dabbling
in the supernatural world made desperate students to seek his assistance
whenever there was a need.
Becoming
exceedingly popular in his analytical activities. the college magazine - The
Cambrian - too carried his caricature once under the caption - CID PWC
with an outsized head, dark glasses and a teensy figure in trouser suit.
Unique
approach
The beauty
of it all was that everyone ‘accepted’ his ‘black magic’ and he always came up
with positive results at the end. His normal psychology during an investigation
was to lecture the whole class with graphic details on supernatural beings and
their activities. He then clenched his fist and whispered into it, as if to
fire up a mantra, while closely watching faces of students in the
classroom with an eagle eye through his dark glasses to detect any change of
countenance on a face.
Naturally,
in such circumstances, the guilty students cracked-up mentally and got exposed
through their facial expressions. Having earmarked the victim, he subsequently
approached the targeted student and had a polite conversation privately
ensuring not to embarrass the offender. It is immaterial what transpired during
the dialogue, but at the end of the day all lost items were found without much
damage to anyone’s reputation or any embarrassment, which could be put down to
his ‘undercover’ skills.
BELL CAP
Once there
was a novel experience when a boy who complained about his bicycle bell-cap
went missing within the college premises. The student naturally complained to
the ‘CID at PWC’. That time the master adopted quite a different technique
altogether. He requested all students in the classroom to write their names
down on a piece of paper, roll up the nametags, and placed them into a
container.
While
mimicking a gamut of unusual gesticulations, supposed to be paranormal
exercises to ‘please the devils in order to get the work done out of
them’, his vigilant eye started rolling from one corner to the other of the
class room creating a scene of a melodrama. Suddenly the school bell rang for
the morning tea break, and students rushed towards ‘Top Charlie’s tuck shop’ to
enjoy a patty and a large mug of tea, which cost only ten cents.
Different
Technique
In
the meanwhile, the master walked up to some ‘Endaru’ bushes in Kuttaph’s garden adjoining the College
premises, plucked a leaf and wrote the nervous looking boy’s name on his left
palm with the help of latex of the plant, using it as invisible ink with the
help of the stem of the leaf! When the latex dried up the colourless stains of
the boy’s name remained on the palm embossed and opaque to the naked eye.
Once the
teaching resumed after the interval, he called all the boys of the class round
his table, placed the rolled up name tags into a fireproof container and
struck a match stick and set fire to all the tags with names of the boys in the
class. Once the paper containing the name of the whole class was burnt and
turned into ash, he asked the boys to get back to their seats once again
and started to play another game as a magician.
Boys
looked serious at this new operation when the CID at PWC took the burnt ash
from the container and rubbed in between his two palms until the ash
disappeared leaving a stubborn black mark on his palm, which happened to be the
suspected student’s name.
He then
opened his palm out and displayed it at a distance so that only the writing
could be seen by the whole class but not the name, to avoid any to
embarrassment to the culprit. With a certain amount of pride he then said :
“
Now I have the name of the person who has stolen the bell cap already written
on my palm, but I do not want to embarrass him in front of the class. So will
the person who robbed it, please replace the bell cap without making a fuss “.
Finally
the bell-cap miraculously appeared on the bell frame on the bicycle, before the
end of the day, thus solidifying his ‘Sherlock Holmes’ tactics further.
Uniform
and power
There’s a
certain amount of truth in the saying that the personality of anyone in a
uniform changes, be it a security guard or a top ranking official in the
Forces. This , I experienced when I was a junior cadet, and the boys in our
class recall how pompously I rode my Raleigh Sports bicycle to College wearing
my cadet uniform for junior cadet
practice.
The most
embarrassing incident out of all the PWC activities that took place was when
the Junior Cadet Platoon went to Boosa Camp for an annual competition. On the
final day, prior to the inspection ceremony, the Cadet Master on discipline
gave us a thorough lecture on how to look smart in uniform, polish our shoes to
give a mirror effect, and particularly advised us how to behave while in the
camp. Another demand made from us - junior cadets - was to salute any Officer at any time if we were to come face to face, anywhere during the
day or night.
One
evening three of us ( Everie, Tissa and I) walked up to the canteen when Tissa
who suffered from a terrible stammer suddenly got very excited having spotted
someone in uniform. He immediately stopped, assumed an ‘attention’ position and
saluted to the official in uniform to be realised later that he had mistakenly
greeted the Bugler! That was enough for us and the poor fellow got a belly full
of honking ever since including a good supply of toothpaste all over his body
and powder on top of it while he was fast asleep and snoring in the night.
During the
final day official drill ceremony all college platoons paraded to be adjudged
on a competitive scale, one after the other, from physical training skills to
marching modes. It was a moment that made everyone anxious and excited as the
winning of the Challenge Cup depended on the absolute performance of the
platoon.
I can
never forget how Mr. Perera, our Contingent Master shrieked, under his breath,
while grinding his teeth, having noticed one of my white socks had disappeared
into the heel area in my tennis shoes during the physical training
inspection.
Mr. Perera
had a shattering voice, which suited to command an Army Platoon. In an attempt
to shoot his mouth off, and boast about his commanding cadence, he decided to
stand quite a few yards away from the platoon, while a Senior Judge observed
our performance to allocate marks.
We marched
perfectly to a rhythmic movement until Mr. Perera attempted to show off his
dominant tenor and stood, to attention position, quite a few yards behind the
platoon and commanded,
‘Squad……. Right Form’……….!
It was a
disaster indeed! Two lines of the platoon turned to the right, and the other
two rows to the left, making the entire operation into such a muddle and a
laughing stock. Naturally we lost that year to St. Sebastian College, Morauwa.
Feeling
quite dejected through disappointment, we travelled back to Moratuwa from Boosa
by train enjoying the scenic beauty of Sri Lanka’s coastlines where no
one dared to talk or sing.
tilakfernando@gmail.com
Daily News – August 2012